Saturday, May 29, 2010

curiosity with love

so i will not love what i love if i sucks in it huh? this is fregginly unfair! or maybe it is fair. darn here comes again. asking myself some weird and unwise question. pretty much Lol.

what i actually love, what am i really interested in? English? Music? Psychology related thingy? I don't really know. Gosh i really need to understand more about myself.

One simple question i always ask myself. Do i really have the passion in playing piano? it might have a simple answer of yes or no but no matter how long i think about it, there is still no answer. I might say i love piano. Hmm but why? just because i think i am okay with playing it? but why i give up just because of some stupid excuses saying that i cant cope with my life or the expenses is too much for my beloved mummy to carry? in the past, i can play piano for 5 hours straight or maybe even more. but now, i cant do that much. other temptation is stronger i guess? hope so. *never ever dare to say im a psycho just cus i played for 5 hours. its PASSION for music i tell ya*

but why do i bought a guitar and left it at the corner for almost a year and not touching it unless i was inspired? fyi this wouldn't last long too. i will always stop for quite a long time when i have excuses such as i cut my finger, crave to have long nails, don't understand the notes or whatsoeva stupid reasons. see? its really a waste huh. *cross finger. hoping that this three weeks everything will be smooth and i'll fall for mua dearrie guitar*

Why i love English? here's one thing i always ask myself. will i not like it anymore if i score bad marks in English? this really worry me much because this is why i lost interest in mathematics. well i admit that i don't speak or write as well as a Singaporean or whoever who were good in English. I don't bother that because this moment it don't matter much but maybe it will in the future. If you get what i mean. Or maybe not.

Gosh this is too much. Or maybe its my own problem? i think i needa get over with my 三分钟热度 attitude. this is so complicated. or maybe it isn't?

Curiousity Kills. Geez I think I should stop being naive and keep my mind realistic.

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