Monday, September 22, 2014

Giving thanks.

I'm quite moved by the whole 'positive movement' thing on Facebook and although I was challenged by several sisters to do the 5 days giving thanks status sharing, I can't seem to do it. That's because I had to do it in Facebook, and I felt very naked showing all those emotions of things I've been through on Facebook. But it doesn't seems weird if I share here though, maybe because I needn't have to interrupt other people's view (their timeline) or as if I purposely want people to take notice of my life.

So here goes to a very long list of what I wanted to give thanks to the Lord, as he has given me more blessings that I can't keep the counts with my only two hands.

1. I thank God I like writing and have this platform (blog) for me to share. This is because it has became a great medium for me to express and share my thoughts. I needn't keep it or tell anyone (because sometimes I feel like I bother people if I tell them my personal things and there I would worry about people impressions on me too)

2. I thank God that DiGi didn't approve my change of call plans to postpaid, because if I do, I can't call Rebecca (my childhood and current best friend for life) and also Mummy as long as I want for free. (I'm using easy buddy and there's free calls for me everyday for my buddies! Hehehe.)

3. I thank God that He's been listening to my prayers ever since I don't know when. I seek to have closer relationship with Him and want to have the eagerness for His words and starting from the conference I joined not long ago until now, I've been having at least a little moment a day where I will spend my time with Him.

4. I thank God that He gave me a willing heart to serve and also a group of brother sisters to serve with together here in UKM. He knows that I need a very positive and encouraging environment to keep living on and yes, He is very faithful in giving me the privilege to serve under that very encouraging ambiance.

5. I thank God that I never have to worry about not having food to eat or not having enough money to spend whatsoever. He's been very gracious and a provider always because when I thought I will have not enough money to pay my fees for this whole semester, He miraculously snapped me out of my worries as He has provide more than I need now.

6. I thank God I was put into a college with a bunch of friends that really really understands me. Like seriously. They knew I don't like clingy people and always forgive me for ffk-ing them sometimes. They always knew that I am active instead of staying with only college friends kind of type so they allow me to be myself and not forcing me to stay with them. Last night, my roommate, the KP of our next big event even gave me a chance to choose my own partners because she knows I don't wanna be with the same people. T^T gandongdesuneh.

7. I thank God that the mission trip that I last joined and people I have served together with were still encouraging me in the way that I think about it almost every single day. Those people I met and the bonds we shared, the experience I have with them; the sharing from Reverend Lim from the conference until the last sharing among us members has left me with a great and very positive impact which goes on to moved my heart until this very second.

8. I thank God that it isn't too late for me to find out that I have always been staying in the right college because I have very very cute and very very friendly seniors + juniors. This year I got the chance to mingle a little bit more with them and I'm glad they're all not as scary as I thought. Eheh. Even Malay and Indian friends! I'm so glad I can befriend with them in a way where they've been really really nice and heart-warming.

9. I thank God I have people around UKM that continue to inspires me and making me have the urge to study harder (Esp my direct muahaha) and having a very similar attitude junior motivates me even more. OHH. And last Friday I met pastor Andrew and he shared to me about contemporary societies and how Jews, British, Chinese, Americans have developed or stayed developed as a very powerful society. Feeling a little mroe pumped up to work hard for my course this semester. Ganbatte!

10. I thank God that I have a chance to serve with The Bridge again in a primary school motivation camp in Klang. It's a very fruitful experience. At first I hasn't really mentally or physically prepared myself for the whole camp and I'm very worry that I didn't treat the children I'm to be in-charged of wholeheartedly. But it turns out to be a very wonderful lesson to learn. My group this time was surprisingly easy to manage compare to my last experience half year ago. (Maybe of the smaller number of people) But God has too show His mercy in making my group unusually small with 9 kids instead of 12 kids where other normal groups has. And there's this boy, call Vishva, his actions of repentance after two days giving me a lot of troubles have brought me to tears. It's impossible for me to remember that moment when he says sorry and the moment he shed tears where I accidentally saw.

11. I thank God that one of my best friend here in college has shared with me how her boyfriend got her to read the Bible and started praying to God. I always remembered that she once was the type of girl that has a lot to worry and a lot of things running in her mind but doesn't have any people to share with, the moment where she light up the incense at the temple but still she has no way to solve her problem; now she is different where I saw her giving thanks every night, and also told me that she has never experience this strength, this happiness and positivity ever in her life, until now.

12. I thank God that I have a lot of opportunities to serve Him. I remembered Sunday when I was the pianist of the Mass, I made several mistakes but Reverend Tang loud voices of singing and his smiles gave me courage to be calm and not panic. Haha. It's a weird mistake that I normally won't make because this time is purely because of carelessness and the lack of sleep (lesson learnt I will not sleep at 3am anymore lol especially on Saturday night).

13. I thank God that after campus life and the sharing from pastor Andrew I have learnt that my fear for clingy-ness have made me make a mistakes which is having a lot of touch-and-go friends. Because the fear of strings-attached but wanting to have more friends, I'm sort of the type where I have a lot of friends but 98 percent are all touch-and-go ones. But now I learnt that God has put several people especially my brother and sisters especially Thiam Hee, Chee Kang, Enie, Kelly Mah in my life where I should be closer to them if we really want to work this fellowship into a better direction. I'm glad I had quite some long talks with almost all of them and I really don't want them to think that I don't appreciate having them in my life, because the truth is, I do.

The list will goes on and on non-stop haha but I am in the mood to continue reading some academic materials back in ptsl. Fyi this post is a sudden urge to write after being in the library for 4 hours so I came to the cyber at UKM to update this post but mana tahu it takes me 1 hour. Nonetheless I feel very relief and happy to have my thoughts shared. :)

Until next time, God bless!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014


Felt a little discouraged and a little disappointed sometimes if brother and sisters ain't that enthusiast when it comes to outreaching to other students. I wanted to talk to the other student so much and want to search for the people prepared by God, then again, I didn't dare to fight alone.


Was cleaning up my desk and found a message I copied quite long ago. It's some sort of a reminder which I still wonder if I should share to them or not. But it's really quite 贴心 for my situation now.


- to be good enough for Him, like the pharisee in Luke 18 v 9-14

9 To some who were confident of their own righteousnessand looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

- to get something from Him, like the older brother in Luke 15 v 22-32

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

- to pay Him back for saving us rather than loving Him for it like the 'imaginary Paul' of 1 Corinthians 13 v 1-3

If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

- to impress others, like the pharisees of Matthew 6

- to belong, like Simon Magus in Acts 8 v 15-23

15 When they arrived, they prayed for the new believers there that they might receive the Holy Spirit, 16 because the Holy Spirit had not yet come on any of them; they had simply been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 17 Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.

18 When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money19 and said, “Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”

20 Peter answered: “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! 21 You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. 22 Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart.23 For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”

- because you think He needs you, like Martha in Luke 18 v 38-42

38 He called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

39 Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

40 Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, 41 “What do you want me to do for you?”

“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.

42 Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” 43 Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

- in a way which assumes you don't need Him, like the disciples trying to drive out an evil spirit in Mark 9 v 14-29

14 When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. 15 As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

16 “What are you arguing with them about?” he asked.

17 A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18 Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.”

19 “You unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”

20 So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

21 Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”

“From childhood,” he answered. 22 “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

25 When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

26 The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” 27 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

28 After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

29 He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.[a]”