I've been keeping to myself what I were doing these two months without sharing the details to people that asked me questions. I would mostly answer them that I am working at church, and that's it. End of story.
This school leaver programme I joined is called Life Engineering. What we actually do everyday is self moulding (both character building and living skills), enhancing our relationship with God, contributing in various community projects, and self identification to know what's God purpose in our lives.
The first month were both physically and mentally hectic. I'm not used to the daily brain storming and the constant self reflection. Unlike school, where we have textbook and reference for direct guidance in learning, here it's all about paying attention to every word our teacher says and reflect them yourself. Not only that, life application of what we've learnt is also very important, for what I thought.
Project number two - Charity Car Wash. One down, three more to go!
We've even got nicknames for everyone. Excluding me haha! Ding! This is 胡椒人! It means Mrs. Pepper XD
One of the days after our field trip to 17th mile
A very long walk! (That's the first week ;p recently~ We're lucky now that we have cars to drove us around) *I've always wonder what it's like to be Homer Simpson! HAHA but nope I can't*
诗情画意~ Acting meh!
Steamboat - one of our lunch!
Reb's masterpiece - Haha I'm very grateful that four of us can cook! *Standard's not very high though. But food that can be eaten is already good enough!* You can't expect a lot from 17 -20 years old girl like us, right? HAHA
The socks Janice gave me that I've been refusing to wear around! Because it's to precious to do that to my long love U-Know :((( Hoping to have Niall Horan's Socks too! But if I really have one pair, I'll totally frame it!
Reading quite a lot this days. And so I'm keeping up with my wish, more visits to the library and book stores! :) A phrase that I love:
"We write to heighten our own awareness of life.
We write to lure and enchant and console others.
We write to serenade our lovers.
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.
We write, like Proust, to render all of it eternal, and to persuade ourselves that it is eternal.
We write to be able to transcend our life, to reach beyond it.
We write to teach ourselves to speak with others, to record the journey into the labyrinth.
We write to expand our world when we feel strangled, or constricted, or lonely…
When I don’t write,
I feel my world shrinking.
I feel I am in prison.
I feel I lose my fire and my color.
It should be a necessity, as the sea needs to heave, and I call it breathing."
After dying my hair before Chinese New Year, I dyed my hair again with Liese Ash Brown! But the result's not clear :((( Fyi, recently I'm in love with ashes colour but too bad mine ain't obvious!
And most recently, I went to Kenny Sia's Level-Up Fitness with Growing Heart's brothers and sisters! Never did I imagine things will happen this way and I could actually see Kenny Sia in person! (He's like travelling all around but, ohmy. There he is IN PERSON!) I always thought that I'll remain cool and calm when I meet someone well known and of course, I ADMIRE. (well duh since I'm a blogger of course there's people I REALLY REALLY look up on!) *I can't even dream of seeing Xia Xue in person!*
Shizz. After watching him with Janet Hsieh on Fun Asia, I suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Well am not going to the details but to be honest, when I was listening to him when he was trying to "hypnotize" us to imagine a perfect life so on so forth to calm ourself down, I was seriously fighting with the snickering and smirking by replacing them with frowns on my face despite having both of my eyes close the whole process. I'm not really fond of trying to imagine a perfect life, neither in thinking or persuading that that I have it all. I doesn't make sense in having it all and feeling calm at the same time. (For what I thought anyways. I'll honestly feel insecure when I really do have it all. Thieves, people that kiss your ass...etc.You know what I mean?) Even more stressed out.
Other thing that amused me. Only now I know he's not that tall and I can't really understand some of his English! Blurry but really, NO OFFENSE!
There's this tragedy that society has told us to believe.
Which I totally deny and object, for its not true, and its totally a lie told.
Once a person felt useless, he or she will shut down the possibilities to think positively, and totally give up everything, even his, or her life.
Once a person doesn't felt the love around, he or she will thought that no one actually cares. But the truth, he or she has already given up on himself from the very beginning. He have lost the love for himself. He eventually will too give up everything. Including life.
Everyone needs a security for life, who what he or she felt. They needed a person to rely on. Unfortunately, in the real world, many people are too focus of their on profit, their own gain and left out others or neglect what others feel.
We must know that, when we FEEL that nobody's around, nobody cares, and then led to a thinking that tells us that we are useless. But honest speaking, God create everyone for a reason. He bring you here to do something meaningful, even if it's something small.
Hey, NOBODY's useless. You can be use as an example to encourage people in every way. You must find a way out of the negative thoughts, and start influencing and guiding people around.
Sigh yes. I've been sighing a lot these days. Apart from my job, I can't think of where my other times were spent. Or otherwise, I didn't even have spare time that made me actually think that I own some time really doing things that I love.
As many people knew, I like solidity. I like being alone and yes, often I don't actually feel lonely. In fact, I enjoy all the time I have for my own use. Although I can't deny I too sometimes will be desperate to have a companion. Err wait, before I continue, I shall stop this topic. I might end up gibberish-ing about the clarification of my own condition with the needs of people. So yeah, enough said.
Then again, recently I have been struggling from time gaps to gaps, trying to fight my tired mental and heavy eyes so I could squeeze out time to do the things that makes me feel content. Similar as some very typical nerdy girls(or maybe not), I watch movies and gobble up novels to bring myself into another era, world or beyond. And these two months, despite my limited mental strength, I tried avoiding surfing the net as much as I can, to do all these. Seriously, I've really tried!
Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer! I've finished both New Moon and Eclipse on January and 5 days ago I touched on the last few chapter of Breaking Dawn but sadly can't continue cause I really can't find any suitable time to read it. This bugs me quite a lot. :(
Last Friday I've watched Shakespeare in Love! A little tragic, but beautiful. Sigh, I hope I can watch, or either read "Macbeth" and "Romeo and Juliet". Any Shakespeare's plays will do. I've tried, but I just don't understand his language. :/ Yes I still crave, and shall read it soon. (Aha I've borrowed a children's version in the library recently :p)
Pride and Prejudice! Love love love love love! Watched it just yesterday, and yes, I will be willing to watch it all over again. Misunderstanding that leads to love, stubborn and yet honest. I like ;3
Due to recent projects I have on hand, I decided to borrow this book, trying to seek for guidelines. But instead, it contains so much reminder that in daily life no one will teach. The truthful short stories in within made me indulge and seek for more, words after words have the ability to heal and touch hearts and yes, it's worth the indulgence. :)
There's many other books I bought or borrowed. And I really hope to finish reading even before the due dates of those books came by. I may be or is a little greedy, but somehow think that I'm not. I've set a target for myself to read and expose to new informations as much as I can but little did I know, my time management skills weren't that good I often find my time too little to spare.
I wish, or I hope. I wouldn't end this five months with regrets in my heart.