Tuesday, January 21, 2014

In remembrance.

I remembered some moments that we shared together, I remembered those time when I'm little you used to pull me aside to protect me if my parents scolded me while you scold them back.

I remembered you using nylon strings and rattan to mend the mattress, chasing chickens back to their little house every evening when the sun sets.

I remembered asking you where's my watch and you thought I'm joking, you point at my hand and thought it's my hand I'm looking for, I remembered you're always calling for the smallest child to go home when it's already night time.

I remembered only a little, but those is what that makes me know you, learns to know you're closed to me once. I didn't know what it's like before you loose your consciousness, how much did you love me, how much did you remember me or missed me when I'm not around.

But, I remember the happiness I felt when I know you still remember me though you're in the struggle of remembering people. I felt curious if you're trying to remember me when you look at me with your pairs of faded grey brown eyes. I wonder if you've realize that it's been quite long that I went back to see you, to visit you.

Little did I know you'll leave at times when I'm not around, leaving me stunned and unsure if it's right for me to not go back this time. I'm sad to know it's now, for it have been long since I wonder when I can go back and visit you. But for what's in my mind right now, going back this time wouldn't signify anything since you're already gone physically, maybe biggest part is to be with families, especially daddy and grandpa and stay as strong as I can. But. I felt sorry that I couldn't make myself to find a better reason that can make me go back right now with the situation I'm facing at the moment.

I love you, and I hope to see you in heaven. May God bless your soul, and pray that you'll be with our father in heaven living in peace, with no burdens anymore.

I love you grandma, till we meet again. ♥