Sunday, July 14, 2013

chapter 66 - I'll only regret if I didn't spend enough time with them

I'm not worried about not earning any money from the part time job I currently have. I'm just very scared. YES SCARED that I didn't spend enough time with my family once I leave for university.

Yes, recent big news is I got offered into UKM and will be taking Anthropology and Sociology. I'll leave in less than two months, which I feels that it'll be just few blinks of eyes away. Praise God, I got the first choice I filled for UPU. FIRST CHOICE that's right. How little people it is that got their most wanted choice in Malaysia for their university application?

If you're following me on twitter, and did take notes on my tweets, you may realized that I complaint a lot about work. I admit that I did complain more than serve the customers, and not going to deny that I dislike the working environment. Too much negativity around that kills my spirit, I tried hard to find a bright side about work, but it's hard to do so when people that you face 12.5 hours are constantly telling you things that you can't agree with.

Another major reason............that makes me regret for taking after this job............which I just found out (results of having conversations with myself lol) because I'm leaving. Just the thought of it makes me wanna cry. Literally. I feel like I didn't spend enough time with my family. I did not do enough. I'm starting to miss everything. I'm starting to miss mum and dad. I'm missing my brother and also my sister. I miss home. I'd give up the job I have now to spend time with them, even if it involves like just sitting side by side not talking because having them around me is enough. Ok crap. I need to talk to them. I need to have them side by side and talk with them. But I can't just give up like that. I spent too of mum and dad's money. Too much. With the trip to Malacca, KL, Sibu and upcoming Sabah, I bet it reached up to half a million. I guess? And now I'm about to spend more, for the registration fees and and the living expenses for moving to Selangor.

I hope I'll cope with the job after time passes by, hope I'll get use to it soon. Hope I'll have enough time after work to do all the preparations, the medical check-ups, opening an account in a new bank, applying ptptn, searching for scholarships and more little things before the deadline. Most important of all, is spending time with the people I love.

But......... How to tell my boss that I want more holidays? I want to go to both growing heart and youth fellowship? I want to go to mass on Sundays? I want to take leave and practice for serving HIM-praise and worship for mass? I want to have dinner with my family everyday? I want to do preparations for university? I want to hangout with the kuchingnites before we all go our own ways? I want to spend time with my besties before one of them leaves to Taiwan, and before I didn't have the chance after leaving for U? I don't want to miss out Kuching Festival, Logos Hope, Summer Mall?

Too many things to do, too many self-demands, too little money, too little time. In this case, I seriously need to 分身.

Hey. What I wanna conclude is. Don't take the close ones around you for granted. Cherish them while you have the time. Life's too short to miss out on the people you love and loves you. Life's too wasteful for not living it for God.

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