A little something to realize - KungFu Night

Warning - this is more like a personal thoughts that most might not understand/ cannot relate to.

Having a lot to say but not having the rights to say made this an opportunity to revive my blog, although I'm very certain that this isn't for a better reason, since what's to come next might not be spirit lifting, at all. Just a short clarification, not having the rights to say meaning that I, as a junior and just partaking a small role in the event make me thought that way.

You see, I just finish an event, which I took a little part in helping it to operates. Throughout the whole process, I can say it's very eye opening, for my overall perceptions on people of my peers (most of them to be exact), and I hope it doesn't generalize peers, from my generation.

Quote the senior that gave us comments just from the postmortem just half an hour ago, "You all are egocentric, self-centered, not initiative at all, lack of respect towards seniors, and too dependence on people." A big part of me agrees to the words they described us, and I really hope I'm not in the list of that description of working ethic, because for what I think, people of our age with education should really act like we're educated, should act as real civilized people, what more to say we're already taking degrees in university.

I think other than the description above, our problem for this generation also includes that we have low level of self-realization, most of us would rather complain, then to find a way of solution/ take it as an opportunity to learn/ and we never repent on the mistake we made, worst of all, we would find ways to put the blame on other people.

We who enrolled/ joined the programme should willingly take up our own responsibilities;
We who want to earn LC(Learning Contract)/HP should work hard for it;
We who have troubles in finding ways to solve problems we faced in different department should take the initiative and ask help from experienced seniors;
We should humbly take on our jobs and adjust our perceptions/attitude while facing problems;
We should communicate as a team rather than communicate individually as different departments;
We should respect and give cooperation to people who are assigning us to do things in our job scopes;
And as those who assign people should set boundaries in the weight of the job assigned to the amount of people in the department, instead of mismanaging.

I'm not talking like I have a lot of experience or so, but as what the advisers of the programme kept sighing about which is "we never listens" lead me to sigh too. Them giving such comments about us made me disappointed to what our generations has turned into, because for what I see, most of us carries that attitude of all the description stated above, and I truly truly don't wished to generalized us all, because for now, I generalized us.

I think it basically comes back to the beginning on the part which motivates us. What is the ultimate goal which we want to achieve? We should really have a mutual target on what we want to experienced in the end, like a basic guideline/ blueprint of where our heart and mind should head to. Maybe if we started in the right direction, everything wouldn't be such a mess and at least we really know how we should prepare ourselves for this programme we did.

Prayers for a Godly relationship :)

Source - https://www.facebook.com/SpirituallySingle

Dear Jesus I long for You. I want to be passionate about You. I want to have an insatiable hunger for Your word and desire Your ways. Jesus please help me grow to accomplish these things for I don't want to be weak and fall to an ungodly relationship. My desire is to honor You in my life. My Lord and King I want to be filled by You, completed in You please don't let me settle for less. So, when the man you have chosen for me comes along, I will hear Your voice directing me and I will have no doubts. Amen.

You're waiting for God's best but deep down you desire to be whisked away. Sometimes your eagerness to be pursued and cherished makes this season seem almost impossible. But take heart, the romance you so crave was woven in you by God. This rush of emotions you are experiencing is of no surprise to Him. He longs to woo you to the point where nothing else matters. He desires to love you until your cup runs over and passionately pursue you till you realize He is all you need.
 
“God made the stars so high, so when we stared at them he could whisper to us ‘My love for you is higher.’ He made the ocean so deep, so when we thought about it, he could whisper, ‘My love for you is deeper.’ He made the expanse of the universe so wide, so that when we gazed in amazement at it, he could whisper to us, ‘My love for you is wider!’”— Mick Mooney

 

愿人都尊神的名為聖

代上16

23 “全地都要向耶和华歌唱、天天传扬他的救恩。

24 在列邦中述說祂的榮耀，在萬民中屬說祂的奇事。

25 因耶和華為大，為受極大的讚美；祂在萬神之上，當受敬畏。

26 外邦的神都屬虛無，惟獨耶和華創造諸天。

27 有尊榮和威嚴在祂面前，有能力和喜樂在祂的聖所。

28 “萬中的民啊，你們要將榮耀能力歸給耶和華，都歸給耶和華！

29 要將耶和華的名所當得的榮耀歸給祂，拿供物來奉到祂面前；當以聖潔的妝飾敬拜耶和華。

自古以來的信徒以上帝，上主，天主，神來稱呼那聖經啟示的神，唯有一些用詞才能表達我們那至高至上的神。所用來稱呼神的名稱，都是代表神不同的屬性和特徵，代表祂的大而可畏，代表着祂的聖潔。

求神憐憫馬來西亞，求神憐憫那扭曲輕視神名的人。

愿人都尊神的名為聖，愿我們奉主的名行事，稱頌神之名的時候都帶着正確的心態。

愿我們常提醒自己說，神的名不可被玩弄，反要把祂的名居首位，以神喜悅的心態來敬拜、讚美、呼求、稱頌祂。

愿神救我們脫離災難，求神施恩與這地， 求神為馬來西亞開一條新路， 好讓憐憫的神不降災難與我們，愿更多人也醒覺說，神的名是無比的可貴和聖潔。

路18:7 神的选民、昼夜呼吁他、他纵然为他们忍了多时、岂不终久给他们伸冤么。

路18:8 我告诉你们、要快快的给他们伸冤了．然而人子来的时候、遇得见世上有信德么？”

信徒們，神的跟隨着，齐來為這件事禱告吧！愿神賜福~

Related links:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/61332731136/permalink/10151763319526137/

http://domba2domba.blogspot.com/2013/05/sejarah-penggunaan-kalimah-allah-oleh.html

Focuses at the moment: Earthly - The corruption of law? Or Heavenly - How the people of God proclaim His sacred Name?

May God lay His mercy on us unworthy believers.

我羡慕的爱情

人最不渴望的就是两个人深深爱着对方时，多了一位第三者的介入。

但，我渴慕的，我羡慕的，我祈求的爱情，是如下的三角恋。

对未来的你的唯一条件，也只有，我向神求你会爱神比爱我多一点。

就凭这样，我要定你了。

为何突然说这？我觉得也是该面对了吧。如今进了大学，是会面对很多这方面的试探，软弱的自己，须常向神祈祷说，求神不要让我因为想要有而寻找，然而是一样为未来的他预备好自己，在神里装备自己。神有自己的时间，恳求神赐给我一颗忍耐的心来等候。

就得先在这单身时刻，学习更加爱神！

1st Month as a degree student @ UKM

DID TIME PASSED SO FAST I'M NOW TAKING DEGREE ALREADY? No kidd time really did pass fast that I thought I'm running too slow! Yes I'm now in The National University of Malaysia, Bangi Campus and Currently living in Bangi, Selangor. Sad that I've to be a sea apart from my family :(

Despite that. I HAVE TO EMBRACE AND YES I AM EMBRACING MY LIFE HERE. As a part time student, and a full time worker, for God. :) (Believe me this isn't a one time thought after that camp I just joined, but what a senior reminded me after my first week living here, and has lived in me since then.) 

Academically speaking, I am working my way out because I'm amidst confusion. Literally. Although I got the course that I want, I never could explain to people what it is really about. Just roughly. And roughly, is all I know. I'm taking anthropology and sociology and thank God, he gave me what I want. He answered my prayers, and I got the first choice I had out of the other 8 in my upu application. Week 5 has passed, I've attended quite some lecture and tutorials, but I never did really know what I am learning. But I believe I'll soon catch up, though I still don't know when that moment will come, just hoping it'll come soon.

Made a lot of friends, and also joined a few club and college activities. Went out with seniors and friends, had a lot of fun and played a lot too. But what's fulfilling the hole in my heart, and what I thank God for is giving me the blessings to join CLC (Campus Life Connection). :) It's a NGO that's originated from CCC (Campus Crusade for Christ).

Orientation week. With second year chinese seniors that accompanied us through orientation week and also all first year at College :)

2nd time in a year celebrating Mooncake Festival out from home. But thank God there's company, and also mooncake to eat! :)

Faculty Night for FSSK :) (Fakulti Sains Sosial dan Kemanusiaan)

My direct senior! It's hard to find any chinese that's taking the course same as I. Even this senior of mine thought she didn't have any junior at first. (I'm not chinese, so she thought there isn't any 'direct chinese junior'. But who knows, I'm half chinese and always considered as one so yea! Thank God!)

LTC @ Port Dickson. Meet up with this two girls :) Finally T.T Among all memories I had in KML, what I missed the most is the group devotion time once a week that we had. These two were two of the many, and I'm glad we're re-united for God again!

Been craving to go to the beach since I came here. And here's a prayer answered. AMEN! :)

These were only some of the many things I've joined. Can't update it all here. Didn't really have the time too. Though I really wanna update frequently and I'll try my best to. I thank God for all the exposures I had and pray that I'll continue to live in His plans and His desires.

God bless your journey ahead in whatever you do! Gotta sleep first for Broga Hill climbing tmr. Goodnight! :)

祂必在沙漠开江河，旷野开道路。

十二十三好那两天，身在西马的我无法回家到东马去，因假期只有短短几天。坦白说，当时营会招人我最大原因决定要去是因为我无法回家，反而“为神”的这颗心，排了第二。万万没想到，施怜悯慈爱的天父听见了我软弱的呼喊，灵魂干旱了已久寻不见活水浇灌我，上帝却透过这次的训练，提醒我祂的爱，也挽回了迷失已久的我，让我重新归回祂的话语，重新回到祂怀里去。

“我们晓得万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处，就是按他旨意被召的人。”（罗8：28）祂的计划何等奇妙，曾经听过的信息却让我重新得力，让骄傲自大的我不得不认罪悔改，因为就算是同样的材料，我所得着的，是那么的新鲜，是那么的丰富。

感恩借着CLC让我参与了LTC(Leadership Training Camp)，还有机会到了森美兰的Port Dickson接受培训。感恩因为CLC，让我遇见并认识更多基督精兵，属灵的家人，好让我知道我并不是一个人，也时时提醒神在自己心中的地位。感恩感恩，透过弟兄姐妹的分享，让我灵命更新，battery recharged! 最感恩的是，我拥有了装备来为神打那属灵的战争，虽然软弱的我常常在心态方面在神面前抬不起头来，我相信神会一步一步带领着我，赐我信心和愿意被祂塑造的心为祂来抢救更多失散的灵魂。

Right now, must 奉主耶稣的名解除障碍，从神得力，天天得胜 and 多节果子了！大学是我们传讲基督福音的平台，愿神能大大使用我和其他兄弟姐妹，让我们提醒自己说，要靠着圣灵的大能去撒种，并非因骄傲自私的心让自己退缩了。

切记，成功的见证是靠着圣灵的大能，以爱心采取主动，单单传讲基督，并将结果交托给神！

生锈已久的我，如今加了润滑剂，是该操作了！

站在煩惱裏仰望著幸福

活得糊塗的人，容易幸福；活得清醒的人，容易煩惱。

人生的煩惱是自找的，不是煩惱離不開你，而是你撇不下它。

一個人總在仰望和羨慕別人的幸福，一回頭，卻發現自己正被別人仰望和羨慕著。

卡之琳 <斷章>

其實，每個人都是幸福的。只是，你的幸福，往往在別人眼裏。

Snapped.

It's always been quite sad to know that I am too weak to control my emotions when I'm with those who cares about me. I lost my patience easily and always let the problems take charge of all that I am. And because of that, I've hurt those who're always there for me.

Every time I'd think myself as a person stuck in a large tube with no way out. Waters that are problem keeps adding in they have no way out. Until it reached my neck level I began to panic and starting to feel like I'll suffocate. At that point often forgot that I could float, even when the water keep adding in, and I'll forget that I have a mind and I can find a way out. But I'd prefer to stay there idly, shouting for help, and blaming those who're letting the water into the tube I'm standing at.

Many times, my eyesight narrowed down when I'm with those who're close to me. I see less of the big picture, I thought I know them well enough and when something slammed down which disturbed me in all sort of ways, I begin to dig out the weakness I know about them, and let it be the reason I snapped. Instead of searching for a way to pull through, instead of making it all better again. At this point, I'd turn into an inconsiderate demanding beast wanting everything to go my way. How hard I tried to not let the emotions engulfed me alive, how hard I tried to make myself to not make it a big deal, I succumb into it.

Maybe I know them well enough I allowed myself to act that way because they'll take me back no matter what.
Maybe I lost the shield that's been hiding my true self because they're the people I trust most with my unstable emotions.

OR. Maybe I just like making excuses for myself, foolishly allowed myself to self-degrade in front of those who loves me and not allowed myself to change this stubborn attitude nurtured inside me since I was young.

All my life I'm never ending thinking about life and death issues. I pictured death always and sometimes it just simply haunts me even when I'm asleep in my dreams. Many times I'd remind myself, what if I suddenly died later but act this way now. WOULDN'T I REGRET? I'm always fascinated and impressed with book authors that embraced life, treasured time in the fictions they wrote. Reminding myself that life's short to not embrace, cherish, making the most out of it like they do.

I'm always at a point that's wanting to talk some senses out from myself. Recently have been trying to think more about that, since it's never too long until I left. Today I literally thought the tears gland in my eyes are filled so full I could explode anytime. But even as hard as I wanted to remind myself not to snap, I seems to fail, every time.

Back to the core and ask myself again. Have I been too self-centered, thought I could do it all alone instead of putting it all in God's hand? Have I forgot that He's there to catch me when I fall?

chapter 66 - I'll only regret if I didn't spend enough time with them

I'm not worried about not earning any money from the part time job I currently have. I'm just very scared. YES SCARED that I didn't spend enough time with my family once I leave for university.

Yes, recent big news is I got offered into UKM and will be taking Anthropology and Sociology. I'll leave in less than two months, which I feels that it'll be just few blinks of eyes away. Praise God, I got the first choice I filled for UPU. FIRST CHOICE that's right. How little people it is that got their most wanted choice in Malaysia for their university application?

If you're following me on twitter, and did take notes on my tweets, you may realized that I complaint a lot about work. I admit that I did complain more than serve the customers, and not going to deny that I dislike the working environment. Too much negativity around that kills my spirit, I tried hard to find a bright side about work, but it's hard to do so when people that you face 12.5 hours are constantly telling you things that you can't agree with.

Another major reason............that makes me regret for taking after this job............which I just found out (results of having conversations with myself lol)........is because I'm leaving. Just the thought of it makes me wanna cry. Literally. I feel like I didn't spend enough time with my family. I did not do enough. I'm starting to miss everything. I'm starting to miss mum and dad. I'm missing my brother and also my sister. I miss home. I'd give up the job I have now to spend time with them, even if it involves like just sitting side by side not talking because having them around me is enough. Ok crap. I need to talk to them. I need to have them side by side and talk with them. But I can't just give up like that. I spent too of mum and dad's money. Too much. With the trip to Malacca, KL, Sibu and upcoming Sabah, I bet it reached up to half a million. I guess? And now I'm about to spend more, for the registration fees and and the living expenses for moving to Selangor.

I hope I'll cope with the job after time passes by, hope I'll get use to it soon. Hope I'll have enough time after work to do all the preparations, the medical check-ups, opening an account in a new bank, applying ptptn, searching for scholarships and more little things before the deadline. Most important of all, is spending time with the people I love.

But......... How to tell my boss that I want more holidays? I want to go to both growing heart and youth fellowship? I want to go to mass on Sundays? I want to take leave and practice for serving HIM-praise and worship for mass? I want to have dinner with my family everyday? I want to do preparations for university? I want to hangout with the kuchingnites before we all go our own ways? I want to spend time with my besties before one of them leaves to Taiwan, and before I didn't have the chance after leaving for U? I don't want to miss out Kuching Festival, Logos Hope, Summer Mall?

Too many things to do, too many self-demands, too little money, too little time. In this case, I seriously need to 分身.



Hey. What I wanna conclude is. Don't take the close ones around you for granted. Cherish them while you have the time. Life's too short to miss out on the people you love and loves you. Life's too wasteful for not living it for God.

chapter 65 - till the end of June :)

After two weeks straight of outings with Jerry and Janice. After one week of rest (Strictly said was something like quarantine from going out cause I had too much fun), I was allowed to go out again. And this time, me and the 3 other guys of Kuchingnites, followed with Cassandra and Chian, we went to Sibu to meet up with our ex-college pals! :)

6am in the morning at Kuching Sentral.

Obviously I just can't sleep. Too excited yo!

And here we are at Joyce's house with her nephew. Immediate bond I say. Kids are just..... I like how you can just make friends with them without hesitation. :)

Vin vin throwing his tantrums. But little aunt Joyce sure knows how to handle! *claps claps*

Yesh this is 3++ in the morning we weren't asleep cause had a long late night talk after the long blackout.

So instead we helped Joyce's mum to make kuih. She said because of us she finishes off early. But because of her we know how to make some kuih and most importantly, EAT! Haha.

Ham chee peng in the making. My favourite! :9

The not pretty but still can eat ones.

Eileen mama. Owe her a big thank you. She made our days filled with non-stop laughter, love and also warmth :*

Jacq! Without her we would be walking around. Or renting cars. Or not able to go to hidden places with heavenly food. She's so passionate in helping us I dou bu hao yi si ki :/ 

Joyce babe! Goshhhhhhhhhhh because of this lady we have free accomodation for 3 nights! Erm another night we spent at Tanahmas hotel la. But then 3 nights with kevin, aunty, uncle, her brothers. Free food and lessons in making kuih summore. Dang because of this, staying in Sibu felt much more like staying at home. She's so filled with sisterly love ♥

Went to Chloe's working place at Everwin just to see her. She's too busy can't take leave so we had to visit her instead. Still looking good and crazy as usual yo. She's been a lovely lecture mate, a great teacher on the subject we used to study and also an awesome caring friend. Loves her :*

At Terminal K! It was like, the best karaoke outlet I've ever been to. At the price of RM10 per person, with a big room, two drinks per person, perfect songs choice, nice audio and service. IT'S MORE THAN WORTH. So far I never found such nice K's in Kuching.

Jacq has the thickest and sexiest voice in the room. Celine Dionnnnn type. Ahah.

Once upon a time champion singer Jov with Jacq. (Y) Music to my ears~ Haha.

This guy sing K pattern banyak like badminton. But he has very nice voice. And this is the first time he went for singing K. I was like.......................okay.

And the blackout hits before we finished our K's. Approximate 530pm :/ Bummer. So we camwhore instead.

More camwhores.

More more more.

In the car. While we're stuck in the traffic jam because the traffic light's out.

It never stopssssss :)

At the agua's shop I mentioned in the last post. :)

Borneo Cultural Festival opening ceremony!

Unlike Kuching Festival that lasts for a month, this lasts for only one week.

Eating agenda never ends too. Supper.

At the hotel room. I felt sorry for the people who clean the room though. Two single bed, that fits 7 people. :O

Eileen mama didn't sleep cause she waited all of us to sleep, and confirm that we all could wake up on time, to swim. Esp the 3 guys.

Cheese cake eatin @ Pepper's cafe!

After bath. Waiting for the guys so we could go to Central Market for breakfast :))))))

There's a lot of places we've been to, thanks to their heartiest planning for us.

石山公园 - Had to climb stairs of mountains @@ but haha it was urm worth since the view at the peak was dang awesome and after all of the food eaten, I guess we need to burn some of em eh.

The restaurant with my favourite choice of food!

With Wenn Nee, Cindy and Josiah at Fefe :)

Stucked in the arcade.

Because taking picture with eyes close is just too handsome (Y) haha.

Playing 仙女棒 bought at Pasar Malam in a park near Delta Mall :)

This just makes me explodes with laughter. HAHAHAHAHAHA

At Muhibah's food court :)

Back from the trip, time for some weight loosing. Will start a more consistent plan after Thursday. Lets hope the will power's strong enough!

Blessed week to y'all :)