chapter 9

seeing certain peoples blog just makes me envy. they have such fun lifes.

gosh am i comparing? haha. well im not gonna live a dull life too.

off to my dear piano now. see you guys in 3 days time! :)

*gahh. my backspace button was so not working. == *

Blog.

i cant deny, its part of my life now. it all started since june, year 2009. i cant really remember what gives me the urge to start blogging, but somehow i think its for a good reason.

till now i never lost my passion with blogging. however i always want to update my blog even though theres time i really don't know what to blog about. obviously, many can see that i've followed many people's blog. i love reading people's blog, as there's where i got to learn new things or maybe even get the ideas for the next post.

i am still way at the beginning stage of blogging, theres still many things i need to learn about. my blog was still in a mess, as i hope for perfection but not absolutely. one part i need to organize and categorize is the followers part, although sometimes i just thought its okay like that. well lets see then.

mm-hmm. my heart will go on! :D

chapter 9

somehow i think this holiday will be no difference compare to the past.

well i really hope not. its gonna waste all my lovely time. holiday in the past = totally irregular life as for unusual sleeping and eating habits which causes me to gain weight and having unhealthy skin + no improvements in knowledge.

as i was saying. im gonna improvise skills in playing guitar right? but i actually painted my nails and now i don't even wanna do chores. gosh bad me. i actually scared that the nail polish will come off if i play the guitar or when goes into the food i cooked.

my study plan. hmm had and inspirational and motivational talk with certain someone. i still have the heart to study because i hadn't started yet. who know's what'll happen i f i open my books? modern maths and additional maths. my biggest, major problem. people might think that it was such easy subject but my problem is i dislike the subject till i never pay any attention in any lessons since the beginning of the year.

by the way. mummy asked if i want to help babysit my niece or not. here goes my diet plan. gah. so if i babysits, that means i can't join the training at school, jublee ground, so as volleyball training as i cant go out full time on holiday right? rest is needed for such love-to-sleep person like me. and this sort off will affect my study plan too.

i cant deny the request to babysit can i? my cousin was pregnant and her mother-in-law was not in at the moment. gosh. she was so sweet so as her baby. still in a progress of making up my mind.

i once love to talk craps with AKJS while messaging. but now it seems kinda bored. like seriously. maybe i am effected by the incident that occur during test? admit that it sort of made me having phobias contacting the opposite sex. now i'd prefer girls talk and totally girl outings. sometimes i wish i could transfer to a girls school too. see? OR MAYBE I SHOULD STOP. thinking that its such big deal. i need time to overcome everything. i know it ain't that complicated but the fear just somehow wont disappear, although i know its fading.

WITHOUT GOD - faustinelau.blogspot

you and I are nothing.

Our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday,Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, and Shatterday.

Seven days without God makes one weak.

randomness2

its just two simple task that seems to be getting lesser seen and done around. sometimes it really is harder to do than just speak. but these two task benefits not only ourself, it benefits and influences others too!

nobody's perfect. until they SMILE. :)

People that seem to smile the least will benefit the most from your smile.

LOVE LIFE. GO GREEN!

despite the changes of the world that causes many harmful phenomena to occur, we must do our part to make the world a better place for the future generations.

chapter 8

while im writing this post, im pretty sure that many "kuchingians" are busy shouting out this guy name at tHE SPRING. haha i cant believe that he's here myself. gosh. i was actually laughing and shouting along like a i-duno-what when im watching this video. -> Show arrival at Kuching xD but too bad i didnt go. no tickets, no mood go. guitar lessons later too. hmm~

SHOW罗志祥 ♥

米拉 and 米亚. they make the time i write my diary more fun :) they cheer me up a lot too. although the things they said might be simple, it makes me realize that life isn't as complicated as it seems when one change a way in seeing problems.

curiosity with love

so i will not love what i love if i sucks in it huh? this is fregginly unfair! or maybe it is fair. darn here comes again. asking myself some weird and unwise question. pretty much Lol.

what i actually love, what am i really interested in? English? Music? Psychology related thingy? I don't really know. Gosh i really need to understand more about myself.

One simple question i always ask myself. Do i really have the passion in playing piano? it might have a simple answer of yes or no but no matter how long i think about it, there is still no answer. I might say i love piano. Hmm but why? just because i think i am okay with playing it? but why i give up just because of some stupid excuses saying that i cant cope with my life or the expenses is too much for my beloved mummy to carry? in the past, i can play piano for 5 hours straight or maybe even more. but now, i cant do that much. other temptation is stronger i guess? hope so. *never ever dare to say im a psycho just cus i played for 5 hours. its PASSION for music i tell ya*

but why do i bought a guitar and left it at the corner for almost a year and not touching it unless i was inspired? fyi this wouldn't last long too. i will always stop for quite a long time when i have excuses such as i cut my finger, crave to have long nails, don't understand the notes or whatsoeva stupid reasons. see? its really a waste huh. *cross finger. hoping that this three weeks everything will be smooth and i'll fall for mua dearrie guitar*

Why i love English? here's one thing i always ask myself. will i not like it anymore if i score bad marks in English? this really worry me much because this is why i lost interest in mathematics. well i admit that i don't speak or write as well as a Singaporean or whoever who were good in English. I don't bother that because this moment it don't matter much but maybe it will in the future. If you get what i mean. Or maybe not.

Gosh this is too much. Or maybe its my own problem? i think i needa get over with my 三分钟热度 attitude. this is so complicated. or maybe it isn't?

Curiousity Kills. Geez I think I should stop being naive and keep my mind realistic.

Avril Lavigne

talk about fashion ICON. she is one of the most influencing, addiction, cravings, divas of millions and billions of teenage girls. included me. gosh.

well i am not so fond of her but seriously. she really leads the style that many teen-girl likes. even me myself just fell in love with her style immediately once i knew her. like when i was in primary. long ago huh.

she rocks! ooh by the way. her song entitled "when you're gone" is highly recommended. although its quite an old song but i still can feel the sadness every time i listen to it. I've never deleted her songs, excluded "girlfriend" that i accidentally deleted years ago.

as i was saying. i was not fond of her, so i never knew whats happening to her. the song i have is probably form her long ago album "the best damn thing". i never have the urge to update myself unless i really wanted to.

talking PINK

now this is what i call cool.

a pink electronic guitar. darn hot babe. if im allowed to have a makeover on my own, maybe i would like to pink-fied. my guitar. but im afraid maybe it'll affect the sound. so, maybe not.

pink guitar with two couple plectrums. barbie pink. hmm hotter. XD well people often say that girls that play guitar is tomboyish right? but how about a girl that owns a pink guitar? does that makes the girl a little more girl-ly? hmm~

Driving License

I heard from people said that the minimum age of obtaining driving license will be change to 21 years old by next year. Its that confirmed?

Gosh. I hope NOT.

thinking how. hmm.

its time too improvise my writing skills! yeah babe. Mine was so not talking personality and not persuading at all. ideas can just be typical and random but its the way how we speaks and talks about it. pictures only live out the topics a little, seriously whats talking is the skills and qualities in writing. *my opinion*

i do read quite a number of English novels. but i kinda didn't consume what I've read. thats bad huh. well i should try more speaking then.

its gonna take lots of time i think. compare to what i expected. hmm.

chapter 7

holiday's here! no camps, no plan, except going back to my grandparent's celebrating Gawai. hmm dance, long time no see relatives, junk foods, traditional dishes, GREEN and fresh air, and little bits of alcohol! XD its once in a year chance. but hope i wont gain any weight there. haha.

next, i'd love to updated myself with more musics. wanna learn guitar and improvise piano skills. crave to learn tons of new songs. kinda affected by teacher's day performance done by several students on stage, GLEE, American Idol and more! music sure lifts up my mood :)

if i am able to repair my camera and phone, i would like to improve skills in photography's too. will take picture of what i did this coming 3 weeks if i had the chance. lets wait and see!

well of course, study. school syllabus and other extra knowledge. crave to reads more great novels and self-motivations book. creativity doesn't comes easily, gonna understand more about myself and others too.

last but not least. DIET! target to loose 5kg this 3 weeks. but hoping that i'll not be tanned by the end of the holiday.

peace out ! <3

Show Luo

i think many know that he's coming to Kuching right? well yeah, talks a lot about him too.

eventually i kinda recall back my reactions whenever i talk and hear news about Show, and i thought that i was acting so stupid. heh. i mean i was so overacting every time, like he's everything to me or so-called the-never-see-before-famous-people kind.

i do admire his talent. thought many know that he's great in choreography, so as acting and hosting. most of all, he's a caring and he always treats his mum well and many should know that he really love his mum so much.

hmm, he's just a human who works hard to achieve what he'd gained now, i shouldn't stuck here being crazy about him, but take it as a motivation and inspiration to work hard and achieve what i aim and dream for. :)

Look At Yourself After Watching This

saw this inspirational video at joshlullaby and decided to share it. it really speaks to me alot. *am not puposely wanna copy what he'd said, but seriously, sincerely i meant what i've said*

i shouldn't complaint about troubles in life. i should be thankful. i may not have everything, but i have everything i need :)

Train - Hey, Soul Sister

Heeey heeeey heeeeey

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you
And so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moon beam
The smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided you're the one I have decided
Who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight

Heeey heeeey heeeey

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one track mind le me
You gave my life direction
A game show love connection, we can't deny
I'm so obsessed
My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna
And I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight

Well you can cut a rug
Watching you is the only drug I need
So gangster, I'm so thug
You're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see I can be myself now finally
In fact there's nothing I cant be
I want the world to see you'll be with me

Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
Heeey heeeey heeeeey (tonight)
Heeey heeeey heeeeey (tonight)

stressfull

the stress i'm having now really makes me want to cry. i really miss those days. no stress, and yet have the chance to explore new stuff. as for, doing what i really love.

guess what. we'll be having additional-maths paper tomorrow. seriously, i think i'm going to pass up a blank paper. no joke.

sob. i miss my camera so much! months without photo shooting really is boring!

实话实说

*am not being emotional* pfft.

okay i was really telling the truth about sharing love.

you know its unfair that one among every friend gets more amount of care and love?

i really doesn't want that to happen.

seriously, i rather stay single and live my life simple.

i rather hay guys best friend but not a boyfriend.

i hate it when someone treats me extra well and gave me goosebumps and weird feeling although that person might not meant anything.

it gives me a natural response that makes me want to avoid that person, as far as i could.

i know it sounds stupid but its me. its my style and how i see things, how i treat things.

当一个人对我很好时，自然而然会让我不自在

其一原因可能是我太渴望自由了

一人对我好会让我觉得很亏欠

不知怎样好，要是我伤害他怎么办

我不喜欢别人对我有期望

我宁愿做个平凡人

==

ANNOYED BY HAVING HANDPHONES

gosh how much i wish i never own a handphone. or maybe i just keep low profile or else certain trouble kepts bugging me ==

==

you're starting to freak me out. gosh hope you'll stop or i'll ignore you.

alex kong i need you now! how dare you sleep before me >,<

its all about love :)

these were picture that caught my eyes when i once own tumblr. :)

randomness

i miss my tumblr. but i just dont know why i cant log into it. hmmm. this pic here is one of i picture i've reposted from somemone's page in MY TUMBLR.

seriously, she's like the prettiest girl i've ever seen in my life.

love ones ♥

alex kong! my first and only beloved one! xD Lol no larhs. haha my dear dear bro~ :D

see! same pose with my picture! Lol. damn cute nerhs Me ♥ this picture v much :) Miss die him liao haha

miss the outings~ with lex, marc eugene and sis jan! :)

obviously i am bored now. but i seriously miss them especially marc, hmm its been 3 months since i see him~ well what to do? blame boredom. xD

love their styles!

they're real people! gosh but so ummm anime ehh. me love!

punky, emo, gothic. ♥ ! :D

hairs

well this kinda look like my present one, except its cut in an more orderly way and suits the modal's face. seriously i don't think this suits me.

bob. :) i love it, wanted to try but not daring to cut. love the heavy layer, thickness and colour. ♥

hmm. long heavy layer without fringe. quite okay but too ordinary for me. but i'll prefer if it's with fringe.

more punky. aha i kinda love this one although a its a little messy. who cares? it shows more self personality. xD ♥

craving for longer and thicker hair. well not really think but un-layered first so that its easier to decide what style suits me! :D

sharing

the love that i gained is for everyone. i don't want to specialize it for just one person :)

i want to LOVE everyone with all my heart ♥

♥ i can make my future to happen. might not be what i wanted, but it'll be how it should be ♥

复杂 · 矛盾

现在的我，有很多心情mix在一起. 只有矛盾复杂能describe我现在的一切

*以下的是想到什么就说出来，不想一一categorize了*

everything is already a routine to me. I LOVE SIMPLICITY. but yet i wanted changes made to have excitement in life. Just that, i know i will lose something, and it might affected my whole life.

as the things to be gain are all unknown, not knowing whether its worth or not, all will not be as simple as it seems to be.

single or double? with or without?

it might be what my heart wanted, but it is NOT what my mind hope for. more to feelings? or reality thoughts?

growing up is mandatory, growing old is optional.

= but the problem is, courage is needed in the process of growing up =

anyone know where and how to gain courage?

紧急! 我该理智还是感性点?! 不知道啊!

so confused with what i wanted. as the choices made is going to be a sacrifice in certain way no matter what the decision is.

Lack of Confidence, Afraid of Getting Hurt

为何要为自己增加不必要的烦恼? :(

当一切变成了习惯，心中就会自然的害怕改变

恐惧

呐倪~~

本小姐的老毛病 -- 男人恐惧症 又犯了啦 ==

虽然说这次状况有些不一样 但是无论如何 我还是要正常啊！

为什么想像时一切可以很正常

但当全部变成事实时我却害怕得要死 不敢面对 反而逃避畏缩？

在这样下去 我快崩溃 快疯掉了！

难道经过这么长的时间

我还是看不开吗？

还是一样无助的 不知怎么办好？

to my beloved friends :

你们太天真 太傻了

我不是你们所的那和平天使

我不是你们认为的那么好

我承认 我是双面人

所以也别太依赖我

别总以为我很看开

很开朗 很坚强 很成熟

我只是一个很正常 很普通的凡人

虽然有时表达能力很差劲

但对你们的爱 我是真心诚意的

这些都不是单靠我的能力就能行使出来

这些爱，是来自我那慈悲宽宏万能的阿巴天父

×biology要我命 干干干 现在学了mitosis而已就乱团团了×

选择

差不多一样

很难选择

怎么办

×千万不能把任何然当成代替品×

×时间要把握×

最后的选择会影响到以后的一切

所以现在真的很很很烦恼啊~~

无聊

猜猜看这是什么

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猜得到吗？

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哈哈哈 好啦 不玩了

这其实是打跆拳道的人专用的teethguard

只是这有点血迹罢了

本小姐最近认识的那个很厉害打跆拳道的人吼

真的是超级无敌大变态

每次打到人家牙齿流血

讲给我听时还兴奋到那样 ==

哇哩嘞~~~~

原本以为你很静很乖的

哪里知道

你是很吵的臭娘炮

哼~~~

说你后就给我看的那无奈的笨表情

像个傻子~~~~

哇咔咔咔咔 XD

人很高又怎样

黑带高一级又怎样

手被割到留疤又怎样

管你啊~

哈哈哈哈哈哈

**本小姐闷了~ 别管我 XD

numb

doesn't know what's left in between. love nor hate just don't seem to exists anymore. not empty, just there's no feeling at all.

总以为已经找到真正的自己

原来我一点都不了解自己

一心想要的是什么

不知道这迷宫要怎样走出去

迷路好久了

前方一片模糊

快无力去寻找那出口

...

母亲节让我想了许多

朋友都问我

母亲节我会怎么过

我什么话都不说

因为我真的不知该怎么回答

好久没和家人真正沟通了

可能可以说是几乎不曾吧

是我的问题吗

还是什么

我不知道

在他们面前开口

似是一件很难的事

何况是心事

就很自然的

只有会被赞扬的事才能说出来

其余的

...

曾几何时

.

.

.

我多么羡慕那些家人和朋友都没有差别的

chapter 6

还在保持silence当中

母亲节
我既在cc

说实在
什么事都没有准备
也不知道要跟妈咪说什么
不知怎样好

管他吗?
不想了

最近真的什么事都不想说
就保持silence 低调
感觉 也蛮不错的

Jason Castro - Let's Just Fall In Love Again

Let's Just Fall In Love Again lyrics

Lets pretend baby
That you've just met me
And Ive never seen you before
Ill tell all my friends
That I think you're staring
And you say the same to yours



And oh, well dance around it all night
And then Ill follow you outside
And try to open up my mouth
And nothing comes out right



And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again



Ill call you in three days
Not too soon, not too late
And Ill ask your roommate if you're home
You call me on Thursday
And well hang out all day
Then fall asleep on the phone



And oh, Ill hold your hand when we drive
And well lose track of all the time
And well tell everyone
That we ain't never felt so alive



And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again



Well fall disgustingly fast
And well stop hanging out with friends
And they'll be so offended



And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again
Lets just fall in love again